a dream

I've been dreaming really intensely lately, deep sleep that lets me remember stuff. The latest worthy of mention? I went to an amusement park with Kramer (as in seinfeld). Yeah, we went on this twirly ride and he was doing classic freaky Kramer moves and then we were in Disneyland and I wanted to go on the Alice and Wonderland ride and he wanted to go on a ride involving crocodiles. All I can say is that we had a great time and I wish he really existed because he is so much fun to hang out with!
How pathetic. I don't have many buddies to hang out with these days, nor the time to do so. Instead, I dream about what I lack.

Lulu turned one last month. Sadly, I was unable to attend her party but I did send the birthday girl a little party dress that I made for her. Kids' clothes is so fun to make and you don't need very much fabric either.

cutie in a dress, seated

cutie in a dress

hodge podge

i was singing. Loudly. The words were "little baby buttcrack" and I was flailing about, clapping and such. Then I said to mm, hey, i should probably be quiet at this hour, huh? And he replied, they can hear you at any hour; they already know we're crazy. They, being our neighbors in the apartment complex, of course. Are we crazy? I believe the answer is affirmative.

I highly recommend seeing ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW. This is a quality movie and I shan't say more should it affect your movie going experience.

We saw some bands tonight at the Freight and Salvage :t h e s t a i r w e l l s i s t e r s, an all-girl bluegrassy band with a fiddler, banjo, upright bass, guitar/sometimes ukelele, and steel guitar--very good; a guy who plays the jew's harp and whose cd I purchased; and The Roadoilers who were also a nice string band. Afterwards we went to the Stork Club and saw the mothballs.

After class today I went to Chevy's and had margueritas with some of the kids. For their happy hour they are a dollar off. Big savings. Did you know that the Chevy's in Alameda is the original? Learn something new everyday.

apparently I ran over a screw at some point. the tire is now flat. tomorrow i get my choice of walking or riding my bike through the stupid posey tube, or paying $1.75 to ride the damn overpriced bus to get to school on piece-of-shit alameda. fucking stupid crappy island!

Here I toot my own horn:

So my teacher seems to have come around to realizing how great I am. It's not that this greatness of mine is in such magnitude that I am better than him, that I don't even need to take his class, or anything like that. It's simply that I wanted recognition from him that I am the kind of person one might expect great things from. That, if pushed enough and in the right ways, I will achieve greatness. We had these design projects to turn in, you see, and he complemented me on mine in front of the rest of the class and it made me feel validated and worthy. Go me.
By the end of this school year I will have a line. My very own fashion line. Perhaps some day I will be able to manufacture these goods for general consumption. Until that day comes I will continue to get excited by my small leaps and bounds of and towards greatness.

Tonight I made poblano mac n cheese and a simple salad of yellow pear tomatoes and assorted lettuces with some balsamic and olive oil. Tasty.
Today I was angry about getting a bunch more work to do at school. Interestingly (or, rather, not so much), it was not the work itself that made me angry, but the reason why there was so much more work to do. Seems everyone in my class (excepting myself, of course) left class early on tuesday and my teacher decided we should all have more work to do because clearly we didn't already have enough if we were leaving early. Really, I don't mind because it's the kind of work that will help me avoid troubles later on. And I love to sew and that was what the extra assignment entailed. But screw all those people for leaving early. Eight hours is a long ass class though, eh?
I've been thinking that I should get the eae together again for some fried chicken. I wonder if they're game?

where i'm at, where i've been

I'm caught between not having much to say and disliking my life because of it, and being content. The truth of the matter is that not many changes occur, so, I do have stability. No excitement, just boring stability. Boyfriend of five years; Job in my field where I started as an intern and have been offered a full-time position once I finish school; No children to worry about. Yet.
There's nothing wrong with stability, it's that for which so many people yearn. It's just kinda boring.
And it's not like I'm hoping things will change in a huge way. I don't want to break up, get fired, change professions, get displaced by a natural disaster, or have babies. But I do want to move to a new apartment, plan a wedding (don't get scared, mm, you already saw this coming), and get a turtle. Or some goats. I want to have a fashion show. I want to have a garden, travel somewhere foreign, and maybe learn a new language.
But really all I want is a pizza and a glass of wine. Somebody please teach me that I can't make up for what I don't have with food and drink. I"m becoming one fat alcoholic.
Honestly, I feel like part of the problem is I've dealt with a lot of the life realization crap that one must go through and I really am doing a good job of attaining the goals I've set for myself. No the real problem is I'm working myself into a little hole where I have no time for friends. No time to make new friends, no time to tend to the friends I've got. Same old problem, different way of figuring out why I'm feeling somewhat discouraged.
I didn't mean to get depressed.

mm and I were away this weekend in Tahoe for a little Labor day weekend getaway. His parents invited us to a house they rented. We drove around the southern portion of the lake, gambled for about ten minutes, played pool, ate food, drank wine, sat in the hot tub, and went hiking in a deserted meadow that had no trail. Good times, my friends. Good times.

mm in a golden meadow

emerald bay

beautiful blue lake tahoe