"what-the-fuck" moment

Today I had a what-the-fuck moment. I was walking from Safeway with a bottle of Fiji water in one hand and a plastic bag of salad in the other. As I neared the car I realized that I was about to get into the driver's seat of "the blazer", aka a suv, and I was in the middle of suburbia--castro valley, because I was about to turn in our housing application to a rental agency for a gigantic three bedroom house. "What-the-fuck?!?!" I'm 32, not 47. I'm not supposed to be living some shitty suburban soccer mom lifestyle. What the hell are we thinking?

Of course, I calmed down and realized, above all, our life in Hayward will be temporary.